I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
