Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
