I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
