She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
