We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
