So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
