did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
