hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
