Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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