My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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