you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so much tequila, so little girl.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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