So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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