My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
