Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
