I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
