i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Your dad touched me again.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
