Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
