How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
