i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
