me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
