love makes seman taste better
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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