We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
