Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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