I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They have beer where we have blood.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
