is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
