The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
