Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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