they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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