Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
