Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
