Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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