That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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