There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
its liver damage thursday
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
