what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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