omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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