I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
