The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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