i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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