dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
