Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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