Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
