FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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