I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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