he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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