C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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