oh god the rape fog is back!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
