This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have post one night stand depression
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