i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
