He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
