White coat. Heels.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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