you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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