i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
